01.12.18

Vancouver Writing: Al Purdy

HOME-MADE BEER

I was justly annoyed 10 years ago
in Vancouver: making beer in a crock
under the kitchen table in a crock
under the kitchen table when this
next-door youngster playing with my own
kid managed to sit down in it and
emerged with one end malted-
With excessive moderation I yodelled
at him
          "Keep your ass out of my beer!"
          and the little monster fled-
Whereupon my wife appeared from the bathroom
where she had been brooding for days
over the injustice of being a woman and
attacked me with a broom-
With commendable savoir faire I broke
the broom across my knee (it hurt too) and
then she grabbed the breadknife and made
for me with fairly obvious intentions -
I tore open my shirt and told her calmly
with bared breast and a minimum of boredom
          "Go ahead! Strike! Go ahead!"
Icicles dropped from her fiery eyes as she
snarled
          "I wouldn't want to go to jail
          for killing a thing like you!"
I could see at once that she loved me
tho it was cleverly concealed-
For the next few weeks I had to distribute
the meals she prepared among neighboring
dogs because of the rat poison and
addressed her as Missus Borgia-
That was a long time ago and while
at the time I deplored her lack of
self-control I find myself sentimental
about it now for it can never happen again-

Sept. 22, 1964: PS, I was wrong-

-al purdy: rooms for rent in the outer planets, selected poems 1962-1996